THIS IS NOT RESPECT

Senator Richard Blumenthal Addresses the Crowd at Tonight's Vigil

 

I have been supporting Reverend Henry Brown and Mother's United Against Violence  for years now.

Henry provides a much needed function bringing support and a level of respect to the families of homicide victims in Hartford by holding his vigils. I look over the crowds and family members that assemble at the vigils and always think to myself that no family should ever have to go through the pain that is visible at these vigils.

It is hard enough to bury a family member or a friend after they have lived a full life and pass from normal causes. I can't imagine getting that notification that a family member was gunned down or murdered by some thug over a spilled drink or a fight over a girl.

Like I posted earlier today, I question the values and nurturing and the level of respect we as a society are instilling in our young people. I'm not going to say my upbringing was perfect , but I had the benefit of two great parents, two grandparents that lived close and were heavily involved in the lives of myself and my brother and sister as well as neighbors that weren't afraid to step in when needed.

I think that prepared me for knowing and understanding the difference between right and wrong and what was socially acceptable behavior. I would put a candy wrapper in my pocket instead of throwing it on the ground. To this day I open the doors for senior citizens. I have only once, to the best of my memory used the "f" word in front of my mother . I never heard my father use foul language and one of the biggest things, I never saw my parents fight and after over 50 years of marriage, I don't think my father could have respected my mother any more than he did and he showed it right up until the day he died.

Yes, I grew up in an old school family and I don't regret it one bit. I hated it at the time on many occasions, but now I appreciate every moment of it.

As I look at a family grieving over a senseless homicide, I wonder how many of these vigils would not be happening if there were more "old school" type families around now. How do we get back to that, and how far as a society will we have to decline before we start demanding a change?

The final straw for me tonight was the graffiti left on the building where the vigil was held at Union Place. This was not about respect for anyone. Not the victim Miguel Delgado, not his family, not our community...no one. Numerous people had written in black permanent marker on the white marble trim of the historic building. This will most likely incur a sizeable bill to the building owner to remove the graffiti.

Graffiti Written on White marble Stone of Downtown Building

If the graffiti writers had grown up in a family that taught respect, they probably would have known to pick up a sympathy card at CVS and write their messages to the family of Miguel and dropped it in the mail. That would probably have meant more than defacing a building.

I am not claiming to be perfect, some would say far from it, but a strong family  and community definitely makes a difference.